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Using Dating Techniques To Close Sales

Have you ever tried to walk into a bar, go straight to a person you are attracted too and ask her or him to have sex with you? I recommend you not to try it, as you will get 100% smashed in your face.

It is the same as selling your products and services. How many times do you see people on LinkedIn, trying to connect, send you a message selling their services? Author Frederik Van Lierde • Saturday, November 14, 2020 • Impressions: 2,797
Using Dating Techniques To Close Sales

I doesn't work like this. I get annoyed with this, and yes, those people and companies are getting on a blacklist. I always feel when they do so, they don't respect my time, my money. It is all about them.
When you are dating a person, and the person only thinks about themself, and talk in the I, I, I form. I am almost sure you don't want to continue for a long time.

On the other hand, I do understand; we are all in the business of selling something. Everybody. You may be not a full-time salesperson selling products or services. But you may be a manager selling your team members on the need for a change in procedures. Or you may be a parent dealing with your kid to invest more time in studying and less on computer screens. Or you try to convince a person in the bar to go out with you.

Everyone is a salesperson nonetheless.

In the startup & the business world, and certainly startups, next to the direct sellers, you have many who forget about the selling part. How many times did I see entrepreneurs telling me that they don't care about sales, they only need investments:

But even then, that is not 100% true; the entrepreneurs need to sell their idea, their project to future investors. I am saying idea and project and not the business, as for me a business is when you make money, you have a turnover.

They are a salesperson nonetheless.

No matter what industry your company does business in, sales are at the core of success. Sales are obviously the main focus of the designated sales team if you have one, but not only the sales team.

Real sales opportunities often present themselves to people in all positions. The differentiator is whether people recognize those opportunities and feel empowered to act on them.

Dating is about making a connection, so is selling and in both cases, you then build on it.


The story is about one of my first startups. When I started it, I missed the sales part myself. I knew we had a great product; the startup solved an issue people had, and we were powerful in the technical part.

Comm'on, you are not stupid, you understand what the product is about, subscribe! Today! Show me your money!

The startup sold subscriptions; we made some money.... until one day, one day, a competitor launched and was sold after one week to AOL for 35 million US Dollars. You probably heard about them, that company was

That was the end of one of my first startups.

I must say, I was not happy, but fair is fair. The About Me team just signed up a lot more subscriptions. They did a much better job in selling their service. After I closed down our project, I started to use their service.

That moment made me decided to learn more about selling the service instead of being the best in the technical part.

I was not afraid of talking, but reaching out felt uncomfortable. Do you have that feeling? No worries, most of us have it.

If you have ever tried to initiate a connection, sales or dating proactively, you have certainly felt that feeling in your stomach, the feeling you are to start something with a high potential of failure or at least some kind of uncertainty.

The following steps, which I learned, will sound familiar; the problem is we always want to jump steps. That's the main reason sales fails, including dating.

Let's go back to the beginning of this podcast. Of course, you didn't expect the person to say to your question to have sex with you. Of course, you were thinking, how stupid! At least offer the person a drink or a dinner. Talk to her.

You see, we all know this, but why on LinkedIn people forget that step?

One we know your audience, we have to reach out. We had to start the conversation. In my current startup,, we have a whole list of leads, thousands of people owning a local business. If we don't reach out ourself, they will never know about us.
The obvious first step is the reach out. You will never date a person if you don't initiate the conversation. You will never sell your product neither.

But reaching out alone is not enough; you need to create a connection. What does the other person want, do they see the issue and understand you offer a solution, or with dating, is he or she single?

If a prospect doesn't have a need, a budget, or the authority to decide, you are wasting your time trying to sell.

In dating, if some level of early rapport isn't reached on both sides, someone will run, hold back or smash your face.

One of the tricks is to try to understand what your prospects are interested in before we suggest what we might propose them. Of course, in dating, the process is less precise, but the concept is the same.

Ask questions and listen, listen more than you talk.

Next time you are in a group, you will notice a person who asks thousands of questions. Well, that person is preparing for the next step.

The Closing

To be successful, an offer should only be made when there is enough substance in the relationship to support it.

Now, we found the right person, we understood what the needs are, and we created the trust, it's time to close the deal. Your boss will not wait forever, neither will your investors and certainly not the other person while dating. One moment we must enter into action.

You still can get some resistance, and setbacks can happen. But often, when you set it up right, a deal can pretty much close itself.

The 5 Steps

  1. Find the right the person to date
  2. Ask and Listen to the other person needs
  3. Be patient to reach the mutual qualification
  4. Propose
  5. Close

To go deeper into the 5 steps, Master the rules and enjoy more success, as an entrepreneur, you should read the book "The Salesman's guide to dating" from the author David Masover.

Blending together the ideas about dating in the context of selling is the idea behind the book A short fun book, I recommend to read, to refresh the proper rules of selling.

I have read the book in 2 days, and it refreshed my selling knowledge and using the techniques in my business and dating. I added a link in the description, or the book is also available on my website Frederik.Today

One person can win this book; you only have to leave a cool anecdote of a missed sale, missed date, or a funny incident that led to a big success.

I announce the winner on Dec 7, 2020, and you can choose on Kindle or Hardcopy. Don't forget to subscribe.

Don't mess up your company by missing the sales. Don't mess up the perfect date, because you got smashed in the face.

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When you buy this book using the link, it is possible I get a small commission.