Frederik Van Lierde

Using Dating Techniques To Close Sales

Have you ever considered approaching a bar, confidently approaching someone you find attractive, and directly proposing an intimate encounter? I strongly advise against attempting it, as the outcome is likely to be a resounding rejection.

This scenario parallels the approach to promoting your products and services. How often do you encounter individuals on LinkedIn who, instead of establishing genuine connections, immediately reach out to pitch their services?
Using Dating Techniques To Close Sales
It doesn't work like that. It really annoys me, and yes, those people and companies are ending up on a blacklist. When they do this, I feel they don't respect my time or money. It's all about them.

Think of it like dating someone who only talks about themselves using "I, I, I." I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to continue that for long.

On the other hand, I get it; we're all selling something in one way or another. Even if you're not a full-time salesperson selling products or services, you might be a manager convincing your team to change procedures. Or maybe you're a parent persuading your kid to spend more time studying and less on screens. Or you're trying to talk someone in a bar into going out with you.

"Everyone is a salesperson nonetheless."

Regardless of your company's industry, sales are crucial for success. While the designated sales team focuses on sales, it's not just their responsibility. Real sales opportunities often come up for people in all positions. The key is whether they recognize those opportunities and feel empowered to act on them. Dating is about making a connection, and so is selling. In both cases, you then build on it.

A Personal Story

This story is about one of my early startups. When I began, I overlooked the sales aspect. I was confident in our excellent product; the startup addressed a common issue, and we excelled on the technical side.

Come on, you're not stupid, you get what the product is about, subscribe! Today! Show me your money!

The startup focused on selling subscriptions, and we made some money until a competitor launched and was acquired by AOL for a whopping 35 million US Dollars after just one week. You've probably heard of them –

That marked the end of one of my initial startups. I wasn't thrilled, but fairness dictates. The About Me team attracted many more subscriptions and did a far better job selling their service. After shutting down our project, I even started using their service. This experience prompted me to shift my focus from excelling in the technical side to learning more about selling the service.

I was not afraid of talking, but reaching out felt uncomfortable. Do you have that feeling? No worries, most of us do.

If you've ever tried to initiate a connection, whether in sales or dating, you've likely experienced that stomach-churning feeling of starting something with a high potential for failure or uncertainty. The subsequent steps I learned may sound familiar. The problem is,that we often want to skip steps, which is a major reason why sales, and even dating, can fail.

Let's rewind to the beginning of this article. You didn't expect the person to agree to sleep with you right away. You probably thought, "How foolish! At least offer a drink or dinner. Talk to her."

"You see, we all know this, but why do people forget that step on LinkedIn?"

Once we identify our audience, the next step is reaching out. In my current startup, Tradurre, we have a list of leads—hundreds of web and app development agencies. If we don't reach out ourselves, they won't know about us.

The first obvious step is reaching out. You'll never date a person if you don't initiate a conversation. The same goes for selling your product.

However, reaching out alone isn't sufficient; you need to establish a connection. Understand what the other person wants, whether they recognize the issue and see your solution, or in dating, if they are single.

If a prospect lacks a need, budget, or decision-making authority, trying to sell is a waste of time. In dating, if there's no early rapport on both sides, someone might run, hold back, or reject you.

One trick is to grasp your prospects' interests before suggesting your proposal. In dating, this process is less precise, but the concept is similar.

Ask questions and listen, listen more than you talk. Next time you're in a group, observe the person asking thousands of questions—they're gearing up for the next step.

The Closing

For success, an offer should only be presented when there's a solid foundation in the relationship to support it.

Now that we've identified the right person, understood their needs, and built trust, it's time to seal the deal. Your boss won't wait indefinitely, neither will your investors, and certainly not the other person in a dating scenario. One moment calls for action. While there might still be some resistance, and setbacks can occur, when you've laid the groundwork effectively, the deal can practically close itself.

The 5 Steps

  1. Find the right person "to date"
  2. Ask and Listen to the other person's needs
  3. Be patient to reach the mutual qualification
  4. Propose
  5. Close


To go deeper into the 5 steps, Master the rules and enjoy more success, as an entrepreneur, you should read the book "The Salesman's Guide to Dating" from the author David Masover.

Blending together the ideas about dating in the context of selling is the idea behind the book A short fun book, I recommend to read, to refresh the proper rules of selling.

I have read the book in 2 days, and it refreshed my selling knowledge and used the techniques in my business. I added a link in the description, and the book is also available on my website Frederik.Today

One person can win this book; you only have to leave a cool anecdote of a missed sale, missed date, or a funny incident that led to a big success.

I announce the winner on Dec 7, 2020, and you can choose on Kindle or Hardcopy. Don't forget to subscribe.

Don't mess up your company by missing the sales. Don't mess up the perfect date, because you got smashed in the face.

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When you buy this book using the link, it is possible I get a small commission.